Thursday, March 25, 2010

I Watch to Mock - Ruby

You remember when I wrote about Ruby - The Style Network show about a woman's weight loss journey. I used to watch it to see her struggles to lose weight and her life as a person of size. I knew there were fake elements - like Ruby deliberately torturing herself by going to candy stores - but there were real elements like her trying to stay on track on the indignity of not having a big enough chair to fit you.

Sadly, now I just watch the show to mock because damn if Ruby isn't nuttier than a Payday bar and the show isn't faker than Miley Cyrus' mom.

First, Ruby has bought into her own hype and thinks she is an Oprah-style role model. Ruby, Oprah was a broadcast journalist and Oscar nominated actress before anyone let her have her own tv show. STARR JONES was a prosecutor with actual knowledge of the law before she got on tv. You got on tv because you lost weight. Losing weight is a big deal and I'm sure it gives you strength and insight but PLEASE, put it in perspective. You act is if the mere fact you're on tv gives you more insight than any other person who has lost weight. It didn't. It just made you luckier.

But it hasn't made you smarter. To quote Tai from Clueless "I'm not going to take advice from a virgin who can't drive." The girls in your Girl's Fat Night have a zillion times more experience with sex and relationships than you. They seem to be able to use actual real word to discuss their health (Christmas doctor = gynecologist). They dress better than you (I know low blow but it's true). And they seems to be actively invested in their own recovery (doing the damn 12-step assignments). You can learn WITH them but don't think you have anything to teach them.

Also, everything is reality show setup. I don't believe that you and Denny have mad chemistry no matter how much your friend Georgia says you do. It's also hard to believe that were ever in a romantic relationship with Denny for eight years when he was completely harassing Jeff and his girlfriend about not having sex after three months. I don't believe all of these trips to the restaurants because you should know by now that going out requires that you develop skills to cope with not being able to eat anything on the menu. I also don't believe that Jeff is straight but that's neither here nor there.

Finally, I am so over your quest to recover your missing memories because: a) it was something so horrifying we don't need to see it on national tv; or b) it was as fake as the rest of the scenarios.

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